By:
On:
In: Peartree
With: 0 Comments

Pos-i-lute-ly Rape-a-cious  (3.23/10)  by Peartree (book assigned by Beau Dashington) Editor’s note: Who knew that in the 1950s, there were graphic novels about broads sadistically molestering hoodlums? Its kind of progressive in a weird way. Or is it just fucked up? I honestly don’t know.   Ah Bonnie and Clyde, America’s sweetheart outlaws. I sure do like them folk. Robbing banks, killing cops, smoking cigars, that’s the bee’s knees if you ask me. They really stuck it to the man. Didn’t put up with no shit from nobody. But now that I’ve seen this picture story of Bonnie and Clara, I tell ya, Clara was someRead More →

By:
On:
In: Dewey Booklover
With: 2 Comments

Thugs and Kisses  (0.50/10)  by Dewey Booklover (book assigned by consensus) Editor’s Note: Glaceau Vitaminwater® – the original from new york – is a great-tasting, hydrating beverage with the added bonus of some vitamins and minerals for a little extra nutrition. It is carefully formulated to deliver nutrients safely and can be a part of a balanced, healthy lifestyle.  Our products are not kosher for passover. Before reading any further, please press play on the above video for appropriate background music. Today’s book is Death Before Dishonour, Written by Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson and Nikki Turner. It is a “gritty” and “real” account of the mean streets ofRead More →

By:
On:
In: Beau Dashington
With: 2 Comments

The Flame Sausage  (0.01/10)  by Beau Dashington (book assigned by Peartree) Editor’s note: Beau was ‘aught to read some verse, but “I know not” he cursed and cursed, but seeing coitus in each word, he excitedly sprayed his man curd. Whereas I know little on the subject of poetry, I do know that poems are never about what they seem to be on the surface. They’re always using metaphors and similes and whatnot. Dr Seuss’ famous erotic romp Hop on Pop was actually about a daddy bear, and bunch of cubs that were going to pop all over him. Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven was, of course, one of the mostRead More →

By:
On:
In: Admiral Fartmore
With: 0 Comments

Bumfuck Nowhere  (3/10)  by Admiral Fartmore (book assigned by Beau Dashington) Editor’s note: Alas! How wretched is I, Beau the horse, whose Bestial Pleasures have render’d him odious to the rest of his Fellow Creatures… I doth fucked up my review of Tintin and  I am just simil’r to the Spanish Inquisition and the Fascists, and I shall hath no more sodom’y. Blast! How I doth love the sodom’y. The turn of the eighteenth century was an exciting period in European history. It was the Age of Enlightenment, the golden age of piracy, and the period in which every country worth its salt (or pepper, or sugar, or slaves) fought tooth-and-nail for distant overseas possessions.Read More →

By:
On:
In: Peartree
With: 0 Comments

Why yes, I am entertained… But I have questions.   (4.8/10)  by Peartree (book assigned by Admiral Fartmore) Editor’s note: Yeah, it isn’t really a book, and yeah, the project was ultimately scrapped. But this (assumed) DMT-inspired nightmare was too good to pass up. When Maximus **SPOILER** died **END SPOILER** at the end of Gladiator, it was an incredibly sad moment in film history (not Russell Crowe’s greatest on screen death, but close). Yet it had a silver lining — he was now able to see his wife and son in the afterlife. At least that’s what I had taken from the ending. His hand brushing upon golden wheatRead More →

By:
On:
In: Beau Dashington
With: 0 Comments

That Dog Sure is a Fancy Talker  (0.1/10)  by Beau Dashington (book assigned by Admiral Fartmore) Editor’s note: I assigned this book to Beau because he keeps complaining “there be too many gosh dang words in these books” and “not ’nuff purdy pictures!” Buuuut, apparently he wasn’t the biggest fan of the pictures in this one. He also won’t stop talking about his mama’s sweet potato pie. Let me just say one thing from the start; this book is racist as fuck. There’s no two ways about it. Tintin is racist. Now, I know many of you loved reading Tintin as a child, but it’s racist. Lets just getRead More →