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Pos-i-lute-ly Rape-a-cious  (3.23/10)  by Peartree (book assigned by Beau Dashington) Editor’s note: Who knew that in the 1950s, there were graphic novels about broads sadistically molestering hoodlums? Its kind of progressive in a weird way. Or is it just fucked up? I honestly don’t know.   Ah Bonnie and Clyde, America’s sweetheart outlaws. I sure do like them folk. Robbing banks, killing cops, smoking cigars, that’s the bee’s knees if you ask me. They really stuck it to the man. Didn’t put up with no shit from nobody. But now that I’ve seen this picture story of Bonnie and Clara, I tell ya, Clara was someRead More →

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Why yes, I am entertained… But I have questions.   (4.8/10)  by Peartree (book assigned by Admiral Fartmore) Editor’s note: Yeah, it isn’t really a book, and yeah, the project was ultimately scrapped. But this (assumed) DMT-inspired nightmare was too good to pass up. When Maximus **SPOILER** died **END SPOILER** at the end of Gladiator, it was an incredibly sad moment in film history (not Russell Crowe’s greatest on screen death, but close). Yet it had a silver lining — he was now able to see his wife and son in the afterlife. At least that’s what I had taken from the ending. His hand brushing upon golden wheatRead More →

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Milquetoast and Scrambled Eggs 5/10 by Peartree (assigned by Admiral Fartmore) Editor’s note: You know those people that have claim to have the spirit of another animal inside of them? The people that dress up like those animals and have weird sex sometimes? Furries, I think they are called. Well, that’s basically Peartree’s relationship with Kelsey Grammer: he’s a full-blown Grammy. I was hoping this assignment would cure him of this terrible affliction, but it seems it didn’t. Damn. “The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore.” – H.L. Mencken   As my sufficient acquaintances know, I have a fondness forRead More →

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Whiny Cynanthropes and Clichéd Insipid Tropes  (2.7/10)  by Peartree (book requested by some reddit user) Peartree’s note: I know we’ve done erotica quite a bit in the past and it’s such low hanging fruit it’s spoiled on the ground, but this review was started months ago as it was a request outside of the normal betting scheme and had no timeline, so I planned on finishing it. Besides, this one has a shape shifting beagle in it. Editor’s note: Pssshh, Peartree is one to talk when to comes to low-hanging fruits. Know what I’m saying? Yeeaaaahh you do. High-five, up here. Nice. Shapeshifter mythology has been around forRead More →

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Whalesongs Are Terrifying (3.4/10) By Peartree (book chosen by Beau Dashington) Editor’s Note: Do you want to continue with this review? If you select ‘Yes’, scroll further down the page and continue reading. If you select “No”, then re-direct your browser to the beginning and start again. During my first run through this book, I died after 8 pages. It was complete bullshit. I had made all the right decisions as a spy such as George Lazenby would have. I was assigned the task of finding some scientist who disappeared after he discovered the secret to decoding a message from whales. The whales, of course, wereRead More →

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Fuck You Donika Miller. (0/10) By Peartree (book chosen by Admiral Fartmore) Editor’s Note: Having spent a few rough nights out with Peartree, I’m damn glad he has enough of a brain not to write things down. Also, Tucker Max’s head looks like something you’d use to clean the barrel of a cannon. I have read some pretty shitty books in this club. ‘I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell’ was the least enjoyable one of them all, and that includes an humourless 1950’s guide to raising children with mental disabilities. When something isn’t funny, you can at least laugh at it. Whereas when someoneRead More →